my toddler is driving me nuts HELP!!!?
My daughter is 19 months old and is sending me bonkers. I have no idea what has gotten into her she has been having the worst temper tantrums where she hits me and kicks me and even bites me. How have other mums handled this behaviour? i have been using time out consistently but its so hard to stay focused and not just give in to her. I find the only peace i get is when i lock myself in the bathroom for a few minutes to stay sane. is this just a faze she will out grow? or does my daughter hate me? how can i make her listen? any advice would be great
When she hits and kicks you hold her firmly and do not respond - if she gets a reaction it will make her worse. I always used to hum a tune and busy myself with something - anything - when a tantrum happened as it gives off the signal that you really are not being controlled by her tantrums. A good tip is to sit yourself down with one of HER books and appear to be very interested in it as you turn the pages, making little noises like `ooh` - she will soon give in and come to join you. She is a little young for time out so don`t take that route yet. She is trying you out - seeing how far she can go - remember she doesn`t know or understand the rules yet. Patience is the key. Do not lock yourself in the bathroom - she will feel insecure if you disappear and the problem will get worse. She does not hate you - all parents go through this stage - and they all survive. Remember, calm parents have calm children. Never let her see that she has managed to wind you up or get you on edge - always stay calm and in control - she will follow your lead. Once you have said no do not go back on it. A few tantrums will not hurt her, but giving in to her WILL. Try to figure out what sparks the tantrums - maybe she gets over tired...? My daughter is 18 now, and when she was little she could scream for england. I would put on some calming music and hum along to it while making myself a coffee and tidying round etc - pretending i couldn`t hear her - and she would always calm down and watch me as i went around the room - always staying in her sight though. I could see her from the corner of my eye watching me. Then i would sit down with the book, and she would eventually make her way to me - but it was up to her to make the move to sit on my lap - if you make the first move it will all start again. Don`t worry the tantrums will pass and they are normal - terrible twos and all that. Now i have my grandson who is 17 months and the circle continues. He`s already learnt that throwing himself around the floor and screaming his head off will get him nowhere, and has stopped doing it. Once the tantrum is over and you have both got settled - preferably with her on your lap - it`s time for lots of hugs and cuddles. You are the centre of her universe - remember that. Good luck.
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