We’ve all been there. A friend lies to us. A boss does something that really ruins our day. We very much so disagree with a decision one of our teachers made. Every once so often, someone does something that completely crosses the line and we can’t help, but feel so much anger inside. The easiest thing for us to do is quickly and with as much force as possible, confront the person.
But is that really the wisest choice of action?
stability
When we wait a few days, the anger inside has cooled off, even if a little bit. If we had let the anger consume us quickly, we run the risk of making the situation a lot worse than it originally began. Giving ourselves a few days allows us to breathe and examine the situation. Coming from this new place, we can actually feel our foundation be more solid and thus we’re more likely to respond, than to react. We’re more likely to listen.
what we’re really thinking
Giving the situation time allows to really gather our thoughts. We can ask ourselves the important questions and see how we’ve affected the situation at hand. Being able to see all the sides allows us to show we understand the other person. When we’ve waited a few days, we can then effectively show the other person what they’ve done has disappointed us and talk from a place of mutual understanding.
move on
After a few days, we might even realize that what happened isn’t even that big of a deal. We can then either decide not to bring it up or when we do bring it up, it won’t feel so much to deal with. Sometimes, the best action is just to move on.
Acting out of anger is never a good decision. When we wait a few days, we show that we are willing to take responsibility for what we can control in the situation. When we take the time to cool off, show that we are willing to listen and forgive, then the other person is more likely to listen to our side of story.
None of this is easy and sometimes all we can really do is give in to the moment and just start yelling. But we owe it ourselves to be sure to make the decisions that make us the happiest.
4 Comments
I really liked this one. You really can just wait for the frustration and or negative emotions to bubble to the surface and pass through your system. The key is understanding how to manage this process and not let it get the best of you. We all really need an approach to deal with these types of situations, because inevitably there are going to be those times when people test our limits. Waiting a few days as you suggested is most likely the best course of action.
Sibyl – alternaview´s last blog ..Having trouble reaching your goals? How to focus your attention and avoid distractions
yea I know it definitely helps me avoid a lot of unnecessary trouble !
Hi Rocky.
This is true about the anger cooling off and giving us time to collect our thoughts. We then can realize that moving on is a smart move.
Also, another way to go about dealing with anger that I like to use, but wouldn’t necessarily recommend, is to take anger and channel into activity at that time. For example, if I am angry at someone for something they said to me, I’ll take that energy and put it to accomplish something so I feel like I absorbed the energy from the anger.
Nice calm descriptions in the article.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..When You Feel Unstoppable, Take Notice
haha! sometimes I work out when I am angry or just write and write and write.