So I was at a party recently where I bumped into a girl I just don’t get along with very much. Too much drinking and apologies not accepted can lead to icy conflict. Maybe she’s just a coldhearted bitch. Funny thing is, it’s the same incident and the same girl who I credit in ending my drinking which has greatly increased my quality of life.
Which makes hating her even more of a cognitive dissonance.
Obviously, my ego mind starts thinking since I get along with pretty much anyone, there must be something terrible about this one person.
“I’ve asked for forgiveness, so listen you stupid fucking bitch, I wasn’t being sarcastic about my compliments towards your friend.” was what was repeatedly going through my head (and my heart area…. yea i know cheesy).
Sometimes the best and worst thing about having optimistic views is that we can’t just be angry at a situation. We have to find the silver lining. It’s not easy, but it’s there if you want to find it.
you cant please everyone
No matter what you do, sometimes there are just people we will not get along with. For whatever reason, some energies don’t blend well and that’s just the way it is. The best thing we can do is wish them well and keep walking towards our goals.
forgiveness for yourself and the other person
Sometimes we can send all the apologies we want, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. The other person’s just too stubborn in their ways. What I’ve learned (or attempting to do) is forgive myself for what I’ve done and most importantly see the other person as a human being deserving of everything great. Sometimes the best thing we can do is forgive them as well.
it is not easy – sometimes it is ok to be mad
sometimes all we can do is be really angry. just to feel the anger and lash out and vent. the most important thing we can realize is that this feeling is itself impermanent. This feeling of anger is not an easy one to deal with, but knowing that it will pass away like everything else really helps.
remind us to notice the best things in life
I’ve realized that the lack of warmth from this girl has helped me be thankful for all the wonderful warmth I get from my best friends. And that no matter what, I will always have the ability to be grateful.
And its awesome! =)
otherwise if there’s nothing else that seems to work, write about it. It really helps. or listen to a bunch of Tool songs.
I already feel better….
6 Comments
Hey Rocky.
We sure can’t please everyone. There’s always that guy doesn’t fit with us, and that is how Ramit Sethi described it in an interview for Aweber videos. He was talking about how his newsletter has the word “damn” in one of the autoresponders, and some people unsubscribe for that, and that that is okay because that means they aren’t a good fit.
Sometimes it sure is okay to be mad. I am angry at times, but I make sure to channel it into future goodness. You are right that it can be hard to deal with, as we wonder how we even got into that state, but then we can progress.
With Rockonova to the 2010 year~
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Timeless Information 2009 Review
I know this situation so well. It’s like you want to like/love everyone but then along comes this person, that try as you like, you just don’t gel/get on/or even like them. I put it down to energy – we resonate so easily with some people, and not at all with others. It’s like being on different vibrational paths, speaking different (energy) languages. My own personal experience has taught me that sometimes the best thing to do is take your attention elsewhere as you say, and appreciate the good people you do have around you.
Anger is not a great emotion to have bottled up inside. We all feel it – it’s only natural but express it some way (to let it out), and writing is a pretty safe way of doing that and then blast some tunes! All better
I gotta go check out Ramit Sethi’s stuff!
With Armen to the 2010 year! =)
Yet when we find people we get along with its the greatest thing ever !
Thanks for reading, Jacqui !
Hey Rocky, don’t even trip about it. It’s not worth it. Some people are just rude and stubborn and you have to go on with life. Karma will eventually go around. I remember I was once at a party and a girl from my community service fraternity walked up to me. I was drinking I think water because I didn’t want to get wasted that day.
She asked, “What are you drinking?” I smiled said, “Water.” She said, “Boring!” in a long tone. I didn’t know what to say next, but inside I was like, “Wow…” I left that party later and went home.
I still remember that and resent that girl. But I just learned that stuff happens you know? There are some shady people in the world, but you just got forget about it and move on.
Anyway, I’ve learned from my mistake and next time I’m probably going to grab a beer instead, but still. Hehe. Anyway, hope you have a happy new year man!
Hulbert´s last blog ..My 100th Post
hey Hulbert !
haha, I drink just water too !
Happy New Year !